Raise happy kids that are resilient, responsible, respectful, and kind - with
REAL-LIFE Parenting and 10 minutes a day of "good parenting" moments.
NO books to read, NO daily emails, NO hour-long webinars.
Just simple tools that do the work for you by creating conversations
and activities around the life lessons you want to teach your children.
This is a totally DIFFERENT,
and surprisingly SIMPLE,
approach to parenting and work/life balance.
We all want our children to grow into responsible, resilient, positive, empathetic, kind, and hardworking adults. But most parents have no idea how to make that happen in the little time they have at the end of the day. We're too busy to read parenting books, so most of us just struggle through each day, hoping, with fingers crossed, that the kids will turn out OK.
10-Minute Parent takes hoping, guessing, AND reading, out of the equation. We develop simple tools that help parents create loving connections, build strong family ties, and raise good kids - in just 10 minutes a day. These tools do the work for you and help create the "good parenting" moments that get lost in the shuffle of busy, over-scheduled days...the moments that make us feel like good parents. You learn how to parent like an expert, not by reading, but by interacting with your children in relaxed, fun, and meaningful ways.
What is 10 MINUTE PARENT?
The REAL REASON why parenting has become an IMPOSSIBLE job
If you want to know the REAL REASON why parenting has become so exhausting, stressful, confusing, and overwhelming, then read on. Below is a book’s worth of information condensed down to a quick summary. It explains everything, and it's worth every minute of your time. Once you understand the WHY behind what parents feel compelled to do, the path to raising good kids, with a less stressful and more joyful family life, is easier than you think.
Stressed and exhausted parents COMPLAIN that parenting is
so much more DIFFICULT
than they expected it to be.
Employers have tried all kinds of PROGRAMS to help busy parents.
Decades of effort and billions of dollars have gone into work/life balance programs, perks and experts, but working parents feel as overwhelmed and guilty as ever. Over the last three decades parents have heard the advice of thousands of work/life balance, and parenting, experts who offer tips on how to manage our time, devices, distractions, interruptions, meetings and email overload – all in the name of efficiency. They tell us to get organized, prioritize our to-do lists, make time for ourselves and let go of guilt. Parents have tried everything yet still feel overwhelmed, stressed, and guilty.
Parents have given up on sleep, exercise, romance, hobbies and fun.
There's nothing left but WORK and KIDS.
Parents have decided that finding any kind of balance is hopeless. They think it’s a myth, or worse, they accept their stressful lives as normal. They’ve started giving it other names like work/life integration. But it doesn’t matter what you call it. All that matters is how you feel. Parents don’t feel good. Experiencing stress, anxiety, and guilt, daily, doesn’t feel good. How can you prioritize your TO-DO list when you’ve already eliminated sleep, exercise, romance, sex, fun, and hobbies? There is nothing left on that list but work and kids. And how do you make time for yourself if it means NOT doing something on the kids list that then makes you feel like a bad parent?
We can’t solve the
problem, because no
one is TALKING about the REAL problem.
The REAL problem is that parents have been MISLED.
Many parents today are caught up in popular parenting styles that don’t feel right and don’t seem to be working. They not only feel exhausted and stressed, but confused about what to do, and fearful that they’re not doing a good job parenting - no matter how hard they try.
No one wants to talk about the REAL problem, because our children are at the heart of the problem. We can’t take anything off the kids' TO-DO list since EVERYTHING on that list is what we BELIEVE we need to be doing to be a good parent.
Just remember that YOU’RE NOT ALONE and IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Most parents today feel like this. Parenting experts, educators, family therapists, and social media influencers have been pushing these parenting styles and strategies for decades - and for all the wrong reasons.
The biggest DISASTER in parenting history.
One of the greatest fiascos in the history of child-rearing practices is the infamous self-esteem movement, which began in the late 1960s with a book by Nathaniel Branden called The Psychology of Self-Esteem. He wrote many books on the topic and inspired thousands of scholarly articles between 1970 and 2000.
In 1987, California instituted a State Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem. Schools were encouraged to praise and reward students constantly as well as eliminate things like honor rolls that might make some students feel bad. Correcting with red ink became a no-no. Sports organizations stopped keeping score for young children and began systematically giving trophies to everyone on the team — just for showing up.
We've been led to believe
that if we GIVE our children
enough trophies, enough A's, and enough praise, they
will think like WINNERS.
Winners KNOW that's not how it works.
We all know that’s not how it works. Parents joke about the trophies we hand out to everyone, and kids throw them in the back of their closets because they are meaningless. But, as parents, we trust that the experts know what they’re talking about and we go along with it - even though it doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t feel right.
In 2003, Roy Beaumeister, a previous supporter of the self-esteem movement, began to question the theory and conducted a review of the 2000+ studies this theory was based on. It turns out that self-esteem, based on feeling good all the time, doesn’t appear to lead to better grades, getting into a better college, having a more successful career, or even happiness. It doesn’t deliver any of the benefits we were told it would.
NOT ONE STUDY showed any kind of correlation between the self-esteem we we're trying to create with trophies and praise, and SUCCESS itself.
We trusted the EXPERTS instead of trusting our INSTINCTS.
Helicopter Parenting, Snowplow Parenting, and Gentle Parenting are all results of the self-esteem movement. We neglect our own health and happiness and drive ourselves crazy trying to do everything with and for our children. We’re expected to help with homework, drive kids to every imaginable extra-curricular activity, entertain them, praise them constantly, and step in to rescue or solve problems - so that they never feel frustration, disappointment, boredom, embarrassment, failure, fear, rejection, or loss. And now, the Gentle Parenting advocates want us to believe that hearing the word NO is going to traumatize our kids. We’ve been slowly brainwashed for decades by a variety of experts who led us to believe that:
It’s our job to MAKE our children happy,
it’s our job to GIVE our children self-esteem,
and it’s our job to CREATE success for them.
That's why parenting has become an IMPOSSIBLE job.
We are expected to do something that, no matter how hard we try, we can’t accomplish. Imagine trying to make someone you know (a sibling, a friend, a partner) happy, give them self-esteem, or create success for them. It’s impossible, right? But parents are expected to do that for their kids. We can teach our children, and we can guide them and support them, but we can’t “live life” for them. We all seem to know this instinctively. When our little ones start to walk, we let them fall, get up, and fall again. We know a child will never learn if we do it for them. But, for some reason, that instinct flies out the window when experts and influencers start telling us what to do.
We are so EMOTIONALLY
attached to helping our
children succeed, that we CAN'T take anything off
the kids TO-DO list.
It's not just the Saturday games we have to DEAL with...
It’s also the once-a-week practices, the forms we fill out, parent meetings, equipment we have to buy and maintain, uniforms we need to find and wash each week, fundraisers, game snacks, end-of-season team parties, and gifts for coaches and team moms. Multiply that times two or three activities, for two or three kids, and you now have 15 to 20 hours a week of extra work.
...now they want us to believe that HAPPY = self-esteem
Making kids feel successful with trophies, A’s, and lots of praise isn’t enough anymore to build self-esteem. Now we need to keep them happy all the time. So, our anxiety goes into overdrive at the very thought of our child feeling any kind of uncomfortable emotion. Before you know it, we are stepping in to do whatever we can to prevent that. We are so concerned about them being happy that we project our anxiety onto them and will do anything to alleviate it. They feel our anxiety and that makes them anxious, which is a topic for another time. Bottom line: What we’re doing is not only difficult for parents, it’s not good for our kids.
We drive ourselves crazy trying to be the PERFECT parent, create the PERFECT childhood, and lay the groundwork for the PERFECT college application.
Parenting is now a competitive SPORT.
The never-ending race to perfection is stressful for both parents and kids, but we can’t stop. We desperately want to be good parents, and we want our children to succeed in life and be happy. The introduction of social media into our lives has made a very stressful situation much worse. Expectations are out of control, and we are constantly judged by other parents who have jumped on the bandwagon and need to justify everything they do. We feel peer pressure to keep up. Birthday parties have become elaborate events that require months of advance planning, where the end goal is not about everyone having fun, but the photo we need to post on Instagram to show what a great parent we are.
75% of referees
are QUITTING youth
sports within two years...
...because of rude, disrespectful, and
OUT-OF-CONTROL parents.
How far will parents go to help their kids SUCCEED?
Parents are so desperate to help their children succeed and protect them from negative emotions and consequences that they are doing all kinds of crazy things. They blame teachers for their child’s behavior, pressure them to raise a grade, threaten to get them fired, and then trash them on Facebook. They get into arguments (and fights) with coaches and referees at sports games, embarrassing themselves and their families. Parents throw respect and fairness out the window, expecting special treatment from coaches, teachers and administrators for a child who has misbehaved - thinking it’s going to help their child when it really does the opposite.
When we step in 24/7 to SNOWPLOW a smooth path for
our children, we PREVENT them from learning and growing into competent and confident adults.
We’re HANDICAPPING our children, not HELPING them.
Everyone seemed to go along with the self-esteem theory, including teachers, administrators, therapists and parenting experts. Even lawmakers. But the truth is: when we step in to help, protect, rescue, coddle, or solve their problems, we are not helping our children. We are handicapping them. Every child needs a dose of rescuing or protecting from time to time. But when we do it 24/7 to clear the path for our children, we rob them of real-life experiences that teach them how to be strong, resilient, grateful, hardworking, kind, and responsible. What we are actually doing is stealing from them the opportunities they need to build REAL self-esteem.
What NEGATIVE messages are we sending to our children every time we step in to do things they could, and should, be doing for THEMSELVES?
If we step in too often to help, we’re TEACHING our children that:
We don’t believe they’re capable of being successful or managing their lives without our help.....They aren’t strong enough to handle uncomfortable emotions like disappointment, frustration, embarrassment, rejection, loss, or failure.....They aren’t smart enough to solve problems, fix their own mistakes, settle arguments with other kids.....They aren’t resourceful enough to figure out how to entertain themselves.....What others want or need is never as important as what they want.....Kids aren’t responsible for their choices or behavior.....The world revolves around them..... and REAL life isn’t full of REAL consequences.
No parent would intentionally choose to communicate these messages to their children. It’s the opposite of what we want for them. But this is exactly what we’re saying every time we step in to do things for our kids that they could, and should, be doing for themselves. We’re not just stealing from them opportunities to gain self-esteem...
...we’re INSULTING our kids in a way that DAMAGES self-esteem.
What does the
75-year HARVARD study
tell us about how children gain SELF-ESTEEM?
Harvard did a 75-year study of 700 high achievers and found that children who do chores from a young age are more successful later in life AND happier. They are more likely to achieve higher levels of education, secure better jobs, and enjoy healthier relationships as adults. It wasn’t as much about the hard work or the discipline, as it was the contribution to the family unit, and a sense of shared responsibility, that resulted in higher self-esteem, greater empathy, increased success, and happiness. When everything is done for children, they tend not to think about anyone else’s needs. By being part of what it takes to run a household, children feel a sense of value, and they gain empathy for their parents’ responsibilities and effort. Another study of 10,000 children concluded that kids who did chores became more confident and competent adults.
Maybe we should RETHINK how our kids spend their time.
Sometimes it feels like parents are doing all the WORK and kids are having all
the FUN!
Eliminating chores because of our children’s over-scheduled lives is a huge MISTAKE. Chores have always been a critical part of good parenting and are still considered essential by most parenting experts. They are great for teaching our children important skills like organization, discipline, problem-solving, time management, perseverance, and most important, doing something you don’t want to do now - to get something you want later.
There is no SUBSTITUTE for REAL self-esteem.
Self-esteem means seeing yourself as a worthy or valuable person. You feel valuable because you add value to the world in some way. Self-esteem and confidence come from being competent: learning new skills, taking on challenges, overcoming adversity, and handling difficult emotions. There is no substitute for the real thing. This is what makes us strong and resilient. We feel competent and confident that we can handle whatever comes our way because we’ve done it before, and we know we can do it again. That’s real self-esteem. And that’s why we need to give our children every opportunity to experience those difficult situations and uncomfortable emotions. So, they can learn how to handle them.
More than HALF of our college students are SUFFERING from the negative impact of the
self-esteem movement.
It's happening to the SMARTEST kids with the SMARTEST parents.
The American College Health Association surveyed 100,000 students in 153 different university and college campuses across the country. They asked these students how they felt (emotionally) over the previous 12 months.
-
84% felt overwhelmed
-
60% felt very sad
-
57% felt very lonely
-
51% felt extremely anxious
-
46% felt hopeless
-
31% felt so depressed that they could not function
Think about what that means for YOU.
Most of you are assuming that this is going to happen to someone else’s children, not yours. But it’s happening to the smartest kids with the smartest parents who work very hard - following the advice of experts - to help them succeed. More than half of the children that belong to the parents reading this right now will be anxious, sad, lonely and overwhelmed unless parents STOP doing everything for and with their children.
The SELF-ESTEEM
movement has left us with a nation of
young adults who are
totally UNPREPARED
for real life.
Our job, as parents, is not to make life PERFECT
for our children, but to prepare them for
the NOT-SO-PERFECT life ahead.
So, what do kids really need to be HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL?
Children need two important things. Let’s call them ROOTS and WINGS. Parents want to (1) raise good humans who are prepared for life with the skills and mindsets they need to find their own happiness and success (WINGS), and (2) they want to create loving relationships and a sense of belonging that brings adult kids back home (ROOTS). Most parents have been so focused on building WINGS for the last few decades, doing everything they can to help their children succeed, that the importance of ROOTS has gotten lost in the shuffle.
Everyone is so busy with extra-curricular activities that they have no time to sit down to dinner and talk. Yet three decades of research from the Center of Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) have consistently reported the same results: Kids who have dinner three to four times a week with their parents are three times less likely to get involved in risky behaviors like drugs, alcohol, smoking, or unprotected sex. They do better in school, have healthier self-images, and stronger relationships with their parents. It’s clearly one of the most important things parents can do for their children’s well-being – which why it’s one of the three HAPPY FAMILY HABITS you’ll read about later in our REAL-LIFE Parenting Plan. It’s also the easiest way to establish ROOTS. And, since ROOTS lay the foundation for building WINGS – it's important to focus on both.
What parenting style helps parents give their kids ROOTS & WINGS?
REAL-LIFE PARENTING:
REAL-LIFE is a new parenting style that’s getting a lot of attention from parents who are tired of exhausting and overwhelming parenting strategies that don’t feel right, don’t seem to be working, or do more damage than good. REAL-LIFE is a balanced way of parenting that respects the needs of both parents and kids. It's about being REAL, being REALISTIC, and preparing kids for REAL LIFE. Parents establish ROOTS with 3 HAPPY FAMILY HABITS and they build WINGS with 12 MINDSETS for SUCCESS. To learn more, click below.
SEE WHAT YOU GET:
The REAL- LIFE Parenting Membership offers a surprisingly simple step-by-step SUCCESS PATH that can transform your family life from chaotic and stressful to balanced and fun. Click below and you will see the SUCCESS PATH, Trackers, LET’S TALK Conversation Starters, MINDSET Mini-Tools, 3-IN-1 FAMILY FUN Bundles, and other benefits that are included in this one-time-only $14/month FOUNDERS membership program.
JOIN OUR WAIT LIST:
If you are interested in being part of an exciting community of like-minded parents who want to find a better, more joyful way to parent, click below. You’ll have access to 100+ digital products, and your comments will help us create the best SUCCESS PATH & TOOLS for other parents, NO OBLIGATION & NO CHARGE until the membership begins (Jan-Mar 2026).
